the cold reality?
Posted on: Friday, March 27, 2009
Posted at: 10:59 PM
Posted at: 10:59 PM
i think this might have been photoshop-ed.
but to me, it looked WAAAAAAYYYYYY COOL.
hahah. it seems like the guy is in control.
& I need to be like that now. DDD:
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
another nice song :D
see? it describes a lot of feelings.
i wanna tell this to whoever is reading this,
or whoever can be bothered to read this
actually there is a lot to say. alright, here we go.
1-
i know its difficult to continue on.
but press on! because thats what helps you grow.
perserving is what makes you stronger.
you dont necessary have to be the best,
but as long as you still wanna do something,
and make full use of that something that you wanna do,
go ahead.
i know its difficult, i know, i know.
but dont ever lose that fire in you.
it gets tougher and tougher, but dont ever lose that fire in you.
if it still bothers you, dont give up.
keep going. its only when we make mistakes, that we grow.
there's always people who are so goddamn bitchy to you,
people who are nice to you on the surface but underneath its like a storm.
and there are also people who are truly good to you,
and will stand by you no matter wad.
we may seem heartless and cold and uncaring at times.
but all of us want you to grow up and learn.
it isnt about the end point.
its about the process.
seriously.
no matter what happens, hang in there!
all we can do is the minimize the fall.
so my dear darling, hang in there.
2-
Brother! if you're reading this right,
i wanna tell you sth!
i'm very very very very touched that you set up my instrument for me,
thank you very much.
i know this isnt much to a lot of people.
but to me, its a lot.
come to think of it, you've been super nice to me today.
what happen? conscience bugging u ah?
say go eat buffet after i pass out.
its not the big things that you do for me,
its the small and insignificant ones that add ups to the big ones that counts.
and thank you very much again,
for listening to me everytime.
complain this complain that,
everything also complain to you.
and you'll always always always try to solve for me.
seriously, i'll miss you a lot leh! DDD:
lets enjoy all the time we have okay!
3-
i know you're stuck in the middle now,
and you arent feeling anything.
feeling acquited maybe.
please please please please please dont.
be proactive and make your own decisions.
i know both decisions are not the best for you.
choose the one that you can relate the most too,
for in the end you want to be able to say
this is the decision i made and not regret it.
grow with the decision that you made.
cos you wanna leave with the thought that.
hey, i grew out of everything.
there'll always be people to support you.
think carefully is all i can tell you.
please do do do do do do.
4-& now backtrack
is it the time factor?
i dont know
to me, it isnt easy.i cant believe i still have to overcome so many things.
i dont want myself to use the method of heck-caring all my feelings
to overcome all these feelings.
what's the point? i dont want to be devoid of feelings.
if people are tired just cos of schoolwork,
whats more me?
count in all the negative factors in my life, please.
people promise me this and that and this and that.
where are the this and that and this and that?
maybe i've broken a few promises here and there.
but you know what? its what you promised me that counts.
if you ask me, i'd say you're a very good liar.
did i let go too early? maybe.
previously, i thought everything was bliss.
as long as i cared enough, im safe, at least thats what i thought.
but after that era, i thought,
no, it takes more than that.
it takes understanding from both sides.
and i've been known for being one of the most demanding people
and one of those that argue right down to the last grain to get what i want.
i think i've already toned down a lot a lot a lot alr.
but i cant seem to make things work.
the factor is not me now,
its you you and you. what have you been doing all this while?
while people tries a million times, what have you been doing?
telling yourself, its alright, i cant do anything about it?
thats being reactive,
so i got to be proactive again?
when you're so reluctant to let go,
you become like me.
when everything goes down for you,
when everything goes down for you,
who will you turn to?
when i wake up everyday,
i want to be more than just okay.
so where are you, to help me realise this dream.
so where are you, to help me realise this dream.
hurry up and find me leh!
i cant give up now, but i need you to understand,
im still here, im already screamin' this out.
im still here, you get it?!
the past is never gone, cos you learn from it,
and you improve.
you understand?
1 month is all you got from now on.
if you really care,
and is so goddamn caring that you make yourself out to be,
prove that point to me.
tell me that same few words again.
________________
i'm actually super touched by what someone asked me to do today.
but i totally forgot.
im so sorry :X
yes, super touched.
and and please get well soon, okie?
i learnt this during CME today.
proactive VS reactive.
RED is super sexy, ultra cool and full of burning fire.
im happy that im a patient woman.
the love defiency
Posted on: Thursday, March 26, 2009
Posted at: 10:00 PM
Posted at: 10:00 PM
im totally in love with flickr now.
nice pictures and blah
i know its nice and artistic :D
i have good taste please. LOL
from now on, im going to post a random photo each day.
today was another _________ day.
i mean, what can you expect?
hahah, talked to Rachel after school on and blah.
it was fun and well, enriching?
LOL.
i think she was quite irritated when i keep telling her
about how much my post-its look like adenine, some weird DNA molecule.
hey! im a bio student wad.
by linking everything up, I LEARN!
yeah right, go look at the sky.
i cant stop listening to lifehouse and switchfoot today :D
i was itching to listen in class lah.
i so gotta do some fun things soon.
or else im gonna get some anxiety syndrome soon.
Rachel thinks im very patriotic thanks to my wallpaper.
maybe i am,
but the wallpaper is cool cos it changes its background together with the time.
i didnt put it there cos i miss the merlion, for pete's sake.
ran 2.4 together.
considered well done, since i havent ran for in dunno how many light years.
the park connector near my house is almost done.
wonder whats with all the park connectors lah.
shall go and have a look one day.
and i've a lot of places i wanna go
such
1. bottle tree park
2. sembawang park
3.jurong point
4.vivocity
and so on and so forth.
people have promised me that they will bring me there.
hmm, i wonder how their promises would last.
Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain
I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself
Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home
I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!
Everyone, everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...
Oh!
Another nice song that I can relate too.
hah. i shall post a song a day too :D
it still feels empty.
i cant go back no matter how much i want to.
the good times were great, but its the bad ones that has me scarred
im not through it yet,
but i believe i will be.
im sure the memories will always be with me.
they dont neccesary have to sting,
but they can be happy, just like the moment they were created in.
but if i had my rathers, im gonna change everything around.
however, its not me who decides anymore.
cos its you.
i hate the feeling of being in control,
and not able to do anything to make things better.
im writing about all this cos im still kinda frustrated about the whole thing.
gosh, and i wonder when i'll stop.
and maybe its just me.
sigh. its not an enjoyable feeling to be denied of love.
wait. what was that about again?
Posted on: Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Posted at: 8:48 PM
Posted at: 8:48 PM
After doing my biology DNA research,
i feel a tad more muddled.
i think i did more than i should
cos i found this super cool website
that has a virtual lab and lets you do experiment.
so im like trying everything.
its super fun thats why im kinda in a blur state now.
cos i cant think right again.
damn.
DNA is confusing.
and im freaking out.
Rebecca, go revise your biology lah.
i will, i will.
damn damn damn.
i dont want to fail my biology again! *cries.
today was another, typical day.
yah, i think im gonna create this thing
called the complain-all-you-want buffet.
Rachel, say yes.
dont ask me why.
im not being anti or doing this on purpose.
seriously, just count the amount of times people complain in a day.
and the worse thing is you gotta hear them complain.
honestly, i get super irritated.
u complain softly never mind.
DUN SHOUT LEH! think you very cute meh?
told you it was another typical day.
and my 4gb memory card just decides to screw itself today.
see lah. no songs for another 567213894236748346 days.
i think this world lacks understanding.
or rather, my world.
everything should come at its own pace.
no one seriously understands that we all have different needs.
maybe thats what globalisation is about.
multitasking? and not find time for yourself.
im very much in love with lifehouse and switchfoot now:D
maybe its cos i can totally relate to their songs now.
plus the meaningful lyrics. maybe its cos both were christain bands in the beginning.
ah, im just totally appalled why i didnt find out much earlier.
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is the healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on(I'm still holdin') , I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you
wonder how it would be like not to go for school
and the reason is that, my clock broke down, so i didnt know the time.
i need to find time.
i gotta be patient.
i have to be nice.
sigh. obligations just never end do they?
school isnt helping. it isnt, it isnt, IT ISNT.
damn.
remember what i said about the broken strings, still holding on to it?
yeah, tts what i meant. BARELY HOLDING ON.
but i still hold on.
i'll hold on, cos i think its what i should do.
maybe? i dont know.
talks and negotiations never end.
deal with it, rebecca! DEAL WITH IT.
its a wonder how what i feel for so long,
all the emotions,
can be filled into one song.
note to self:
study your sciences!
i feel a tad more muddled.
i think i did more than i should
cos i found this super cool website
that has a virtual lab and lets you do experiment.
so im like trying everything.
its super fun thats why im kinda in a blur state now.
cos i cant think right again.
damn.
DNA is confusing.
and im freaking out.
Rebecca, go revise your biology lah.
i will, i will.
damn damn damn.
i dont want to fail my biology again! *cries.
today was another, typical day.
yah, i think im gonna create this thing
called the complain-all-you-want buffet.
Rachel, say yes.
dont ask me why.
im not being anti or doing this on purpose.
seriously, just count the amount of times people complain in a day.
and the worse thing is you gotta hear them complain.
honestly, i get super irritated.
u complain softly never mind.
DUN SHOUT LEH! think you very cute meh?
told you it was another typical day.
and my 4gb memory card just decides to screw itself today.
see lah. no songs for another 567213894236748346 days.
i think this world lacks understanding.
or rather, my world.
everything should come at its own pace.
no one seriously understands that we all have different needs.
maybe thats what globalisation is about.
multitasking? and not find time for yourself.
im very much in love with lifehouse and switchfoot now:D
maybe its cos i can totally relate to their songs now.
plus the meaningful lyrics. maybe its cos both were christain bands in the beginning.
ah, im just totally appalled why i didnt find out much earlier.
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is the healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on(I'm still holdin') , I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you
wonder how it would be like not to go for school
and the reason is that, my clock broke down, so i didnt know the time.
i need to find time.
i gotta be patient.
i have to be nice.
sigh. obligations just never end do they?
school isnt helping. it isnt, it isnt, IT ISNT.
damn.
remember what i said about the broken strings, still holding on to it?
yeah, tts what i meant. BARELY HOLDING ON.
but i still hold on.
i'll hold on, cos i think its what i should do.
maybe? i dont know.
talks and negotiations never end.
deal with it, rebecca! DEAL WITH IT.
its a wonder how what i feel for so long,
all the emotions,
can be filled into one song.
note to self:
study your sciences!
lies and misconceptions
Posted on: Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Posted at: 10:35 PM
Posted at: 10:35 PM
Time stands still when no one understands you
and you don't quite understand yourself.
Today didn't have to be this way,
tomorrow is another day,
another chance to make things right.
but it seems that chances have run out for me.
im torn in between what i believe in and what i should do.
i should've have just said no. Am i right?
placing your trust in the wrong people seriously makes you blind.
i just never learn from mistakes.
i think im so silly to a certain extent that makes people think that i actually want to suffer.
To me,
i can't predict who we can trust and who we cant trust until we actually open up to people. The best that we can do is learn from past mistakes and hope that the next person we meet is worth our trust.
and you know, its not the matter about trust.
its a matter of how much trust and faith you decide to put into people.
everything has a highest point and lowest point.
just like a sine curve.
whenever you trust and have faith,
things just kind of come true?
the universe is like a paradox.
you gotta let go before you can receive what you want.
now i understand why the truth hurts.
yes, the truth hurts.
but the lies are the ones that makes the truth counts and makes the truth hurts.
not everyone wants to listen to the truth.
there are some who would rather to live in the fact they are in.
and the most cruel thing on earth is that,
the person who we care for the most, talk to the most, and think that we know them well, is in fact the one who will hurt us the most.
Care and concern cant be planned ahead.
its either you have it or you dont.
thats not care and concern by the way.
thats being intolerant of people.
you dont expect people to wait just cos you know they'll wait for you.
One can wait, but not forever.
dont let people hold on to strings that are already broken.
whats the point of holding on to a broken string?
but being the naive me, still thinks that, the string can be retied all over again.
i get angry too easily, and as a result
i belittle whoever im confronting.
and i get over it by thinking and brooding about it.
and thats me.
i need someone who understands,
but not anyone.
i need people who i can talk to and comes up to me and say.
hey, no matter what happens, you've done well.
continue to strive on.
but most importantly,
needing is not the factor.
being by one's side and caring and loving unconditionally will ultimately pull through everything.
pity im not there anymore.
why did you leave me at such a horrible crossroad?
give me a choice will you.
if you cant handle it, dont.
if you are truly concerned, im still here.
Note to self:
think positive and sharp!
and you don't quite understand yourself.
Today didn't have to be this way,
tomorrow is another day,
another chance to make things right.
but it seems that chances have run out for me.
im torn in between what i believe in and what i should do.
i should've have just said no. Am i right?
placing your trust in the wrong people seriously makes you blind.
i just never learn from mistakes.
i think im so silly to a certain extent that makes people think that i actually want to suffer.
To me,
i can't predict who we can trust and who we cant trust until we actually open up to people. The best that we can do is learn from past mistakes and hope that the next person we meet is worth our trust.
and you know, its not the matter about trust.
its a matter of how much trust and faith you decide to put into people.
everything has a highest point and lowest point.
just like a sine curve.
whenever you trust and have faith,
things just kind of come true?
the universe is like a paradox.
you gotta let go before you can receive what you want.
now i understand why the truth hurts.
yes, the truth hurts.
but the lies are the ones that makes the truth counts and makes the truth hurts.
not everyone wants to listen to the truth.
there are some who would rather to live in the fact they are in.
and the most cruel thing on earth is that,
the person who we care for the most, talk to the most, and think that we know them well, is in fact the one who will hurt us the most.
Care and concern cant be planned ahead.
its either you have it or you dont.
thats not care and concern by the way.
thats being intolerant of people.
you dont expect people to wait just cos you know they'll wait for you.
One can wait, but not forever.
dont let people hold on to strings that are already broken.
whats the point of holding on to a broken string?
but being the naive me, still thinks that, the string can be retied all over again.
i get angry too easily, and as a result
i belittle whoever im confronting.
and i get over it by thinking and brooding about it.
and thats me.
i need someone who understands,
but not anyone.
i need people who i can talk to and comes up to me and say.
hey, no matter what happens, you've done well.
continue to strive on.
but most importantly,
needing is not the factor.
being by one's side and caring and loving unconditionally will ultimately pull through everything.
pity im not there anymore.
why did you leave me at such a horrible crossroad?
give me a choice will you.
if you cant handle it, dont.
if you are truly concerned, im still here.
Note to self:
think positive and sharp!
the shadows proves the sunshine
Posted on:
Posted at: 9:48 PM
Posted at: 9:48 PM
oh my gosh. im so bloody happy these two days.
hahah. i know both days arent really good days but heck.
for once, yesterday.
I FINISHED WHAT I WANTED TO DO LEH!
LOLS. but anyway, yesterday was good to an extent in the afternoon.
& we think... hahah.
hahah. cool stuff loh :D
retards, right?
yeah, i thought i shant be sarcastic. i shall just say that.
think what you want.
cos i want to see at the end of the day,
who has the last laugh and gets to say
I TOLD YOU SO to the other party.
and another thing is,
i love telling stories on how ignorance kills:D
wait and see, just you wait and see, you *****
*gives some attitude face.
hello ah soon, if you're reading this.
thanks for the sweet treats yesterday. hahah.
you're the best lah! :D
my mum decided to be super nice.
she asked me to go out and buy clothes for my confirmation.
who wants to come with me? :D
and she decided to sponsor me with money for clothes and a new wallet.
cos she thinks my wallet is some weird brand and decided to get a better one for me.
HURRAY! lol.
and and and the next thing im seriously excited.
OH OH OH, seriously. cant contain my excitement!!
i got a new phone.
fully sponsored by my daddy.
and i got a 4GB memory card. sponsored also.
wah, damn happy leh :DDD
i think im acting like a primary school kid.
but im damn excited cos it was a surprise. whoo.
i love good surprises. :DD
im so glad that i can go home early on certain days.
you know, and like go out, eat subway and blah
and still get results.
okay, maybe not that great. BUT IM IMPROVING!
i think i should keep my mouth shut at times.
im just a very straight forward person nowadays,
yeah, and people have told me its easy to read my mind.
cos my face shows it all.
but honestly. if you you and you, think that im not concerned.
i am, okay!
but mind you. it pays to just shut up and settle stuff my own way.
and mind you again, dont anyhow put words into my mouth.
cos you're not me.
if you're truly so goddamn caring,
go and face the wall and think it over until you get it.
cos i think you still dont.
its not easy to face everything yourself.
just think about it.
i admit im a very trusting person.
and thing is, i trust people very easily.
and i regret a lot a lot a lot.
but you're the one that makes me seriously think that
what the f*** was i doing?
so you just leave me with this.
and then what you want me to do?
and to think till now, i still think you're different.
can still trust.
*shakes head at myself
the theory is simple to me:
if you know someone trusts you, dont go and betray people.
because you dont end up hurting people.
cos in the end, you suffer too.
hahah. i know both days arent really good days but heck.
for once, yesterday.
I FINISHED WHAT I WANTED TO DO LEH!
LOLS. but anyway, yesterday was good to an extent in the afternoon.
& we think... hahah.
hahah. cool stuff loh :D
retards, right?
yeah, i thought i shant be sarcastic. i shall just say that.
think what you want.
cos i want to see at the end of the day,
who has the last laugh and gets to say
I TOLD YOU SO to the other party.
and another thing is,
i love telling stories on how ignorance kills:D
wait and see, just you wait and see, you *****
*gives some attitude face.
hello ah soon, if you're reading this.
thanks for the sweet treats yesterday. hahah.
you're the best lah! :D
my mum decided to be super nice.
she asked me to go out and buy clothes for my confirmation.
who wants to come with me? :D
and she decided to sponsor me with money for clothes and a new wallet.
cos she thinks my wallet is some weird brand and decided to get a better one for me.
HURRAY! lol.
and and and the next thing im seriously excited.
OH OH OH, seriously. cant contain my excitement!!
i got a new phone.
fully sponsored by my daddy.
and i got a 4GB memory card. sponsored also.
wah, damn happy leh :DDD
i think im acting like a primary school kid.
but im damn excited cos it was a surprise. whoo.
i love good surprises. :DD
im so glad that i can go home early on certain days.
you know, and like go out, eat subway and blah
and still get results.
okay, maybe not that great. BUT IM IMPROVING!
i think i should keep my mouth shut at times.
im just a very straight forward person nowadays,
yeah, and people have told me its easy to read my mind.
cos my face shows it all.
but honestly. if you you and you, think that im not concerned.
i am, okay!
but mind you. it pays to just shut up and settle stuff my own way.
and mind you again, dont anyhow put words into my mouth.
cos you're not me.
if you're truly so goddamn caring,
go and face the wall and think it over until you get it.
cos i think you still dont.
its not easy to face everything yourself.
just think about it.
i admit im a very trusting person.
and thing is, i trust people very easily.
and i regret a lot a lot a lot.
but you're the one that makes me seriously think that
what the f*** was i doing?
so you just leave me with this.
and then what you want me to do?
and to think till now, i still think you're different.
can still trust.
*shakes head at myself
the theory is simple to me:
if you know someone trusts you, dont go and betray people.
because you dont end up hurting people.
cos in the end, you suffer too.
hello, good morning, how you do?
Posted on: Monday, March 23, 2009
Posted at: 7:43 PM
Posted at: 7:43 PM
oh man.
the first thing i realised in the morning was.
today is the 23rd.
sigh.
seriously. it was an okay day.
had great laughs with people.
but still kinda felt empty lah.
cos its not really the same?
&its been a month.
the first thing i realised in the morning was.
today is the 23rd.
sigh.
seriously. it was an okay day.
had great laughs with people.
but still kinda felt empty lah.
cos its not really the same?
&its been a month.
Love is an action
Posted on: Sunday, March 22, 2009
Posted at: 11:54 PM
Posted at: 11:54 PM
i know i said i wont blog
and i didnt really have the mood to blog
even now,
but whatever lah. i shall just write a bit.
band exchange yesterday.
i was zonked.
had to seriously drag myself home after eating at subway with jewel :D
and i seriously couldnt think well that day.
give out instructions and blah, organise stuff.
trying to get everyone to settle down
shout here and there.
think i seriously got me down.
if you're reading this, amira from ytwo
hahah. you'll know i'm tired, only pretending to be high during sectionals.
yah, and sectionals.
honestly, i think i belong in loserville now.
can someone just provide me with a wok to knock myself out?
hello?! people talk leh, intro intro.
okay, i tell u all joke.
JOKE.
yah funny.* laughs and claps*
but yah, it was fun lah.
cant believe i actually did all that during sectionals.
and i also cant believe that my brother Z LIED TO ME.
but anyway, get well soon. u'll get it from me soon anyway.
so all in all, band exchange was fun.
heheh, leaders go makan that time super fun.
*winks at nic and jewel* remember remember? YAY.
i think im superb at spreading messages. WHOO.
say YAYY for me.
so yeah, i zonked out lah. initially wanted majors photo.
but all so zonked out. take pic for wad! tired until cannot smile!
which is kinda true lah.
anyway, last time wearing no. 4
and i think i'll kinda, in a way miss it loh. DDD:
went for church today.
went for mass twice.
it was good for me in a sense cos i didnt concentrate on the homily in the morn.
i just nodded off cos i was damn tired again.
so the late morn mass i really listened.
and i caught this.
LOVE IS AN ACTION
and infront there was FAITH and HOPE.
but i kinda let it pass by.
yeah, love is an action.
open the eyes of my heart(:
being in confi 4 this year and coping with confirmation
plus school
plus CCA
plus classwork and homework
plus class bonding
plus handing over
plus handling with friendship and relationships
is really really taking a toil on me,
and its really damn difficult.
disheartening and disappointing.
this week of march holiday has been an immensely challenging on for me.
i dont know how well or how badly i coped.
but i think i need to overcome it bit by bit.
i was not on my guard and have been tricked by some very slick con man.
and yah, not literally but as in emotionally?
i dun know.
and i think i've got to accept somethings that i dont have the ability to change.
im also very touched that many many people have asked me if im okay.
yes, im okay. its just that, its not easy to get over it.
hah. im a determined person. just wait and see.
that wasnt forgiveness.
that was leniency.
i had a super joker conversation with a few of my good buddies on friday night.
seriously cheered me up.
and MSN-ed till 1am?
yes, you know who you are, some maths prof and some best in footdrill guy. LOL
thank you very much. seriously, its good to hear from people im coping well!
and and finally:
Q:how do you keep smiling and stay happy?
A:take a million pictures with people you love everyday. nothing can go wrong after that. :D
and i came across this someone's blog.
actually no.
someone alerted me about it.
yeah, agreed. rude bitch. but life's like that, just so callous.
&there is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.
tyvm to adil for the notebook.
and i didnt really have the mood to blog
even now,
but whatever lah. i shall just write a bit.
band exchange yesterday.
i was zonked.
had to seriously drag myself home after eating at subway with jewel :D
and i seriously couldnt think well that day.
give out instructions and blah, organise stuff.
trying to get everyone to settle down
shout here and there.
think i seriously got me down.
if you're reading this, amira from ytwo
hahah. you'll know i'm tired, only pretending to be high during sectionals.
yah, and sectionals.
honestly, i think i belong in loserville now.
can someone just provide me with a wok to knock myself out?
hello?! people talk leh, intro intro.
okay, i tell u all joke.
JOKE.
yah funny.* laughs and claps*
but yah, it was fun lah.
cant believe i actually did all that during sectionals.
and i also cant believe that my brother Z LIED TO ME.
but anyway, get well soon. u'll get it from me soon anyway.
so all in all, band exchange was fun.
heheh, leaders go makan that time super fun.
*winks at nic and jewel* remember remember? YAY.
i think im superb at spreading messages. WHOO.
say YAYY for me.
so yeah, i zonked out lah. initially wanted majors photo.
but all so zonked out. take pic for wad! tired until cannot smile!
which is kinda true lah.
anyway, last time wearing no. 4
and i think i'll kinda, in a way miss it loh. DDD:
went for church today.
went for mass twice.
it was good for me in a sense cos i didnt concentrate on the homily in the morn.
i just nodded off cos i was damn tired again.
so the late morn mass i really listened.
and i caught this.
LOVE IS AN ACTION
and infront there was FAITH and HOPE.
but i kinda let it pass by.
yeah, love is an action.
open the eyes of my heart(:
being in confi 4 this year and coping with confirmation
plus school
plus CCA
plus classwork and homework
plus class bonding
plus handing over
plus handling with friendship and relationships
is really really taking a toil on me,
and its really damn difficult.
disheartening and disappointing.
this week of march holiday has been an immensely challenging on for me.
i dont know how well or how badly i coped.
but i think i need to overcome it bit by bit.
i was not on my guard and have been tricked by some very slick con man.
and yah, not literally but as in emotionally?
i dun know.
and i think i've got to accept somethings that i dont have the ability to change.
im also very touched that many many people have asked me if im okay.
yes, im okay. its just that, its not easy to get over it.
hah. im a determined person. just wait and see.
that wasnt forgiveness.
that was leniency.
i had a super joker conversation with a few of my good buddies on friday night.
seriously cheered me up.
and MSN-ed till 1am?
yes, you know who you are, some maths prof and some best in footdrill guy. LOL
thank you very much. seriously, its good to hear from people im coping well!
and and finally:
Q:how do you keep smiling and stay happy?
A:take a million pictures with people you love everyday. nothing can go wrong after that. :D
and i came across this someone's blog.
actually no.
someone alerted me about it.
yeah, agreed. rude bitch. but life's like that, just so callous.
&there is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.
tyvm to adil for the notebook.
Hiatus
Posted on: Thursday, March 19, 2009
Posted at: 8:43 AM
Posted at: 8:43 AM
i dont think i'll be posting much from now on.
i need to get things back into perspective for myself.
gosh, really.
these past few weeks has been like a roller coaster.
i need to learn how to feel and get my thinking straight again.
im not going to say what happen.
but all im going to say is that i've been putting my trust in some wrong place
but i dont think i've regretted one bit.
i just need time to readjust myself.
i need to get things back into perspective for myself.
gosh, really.
these past few weeks has been like a roller coaster.
i need to learn how to feel and get my thinking straight again.
im not going to say what happen.
but all im going to say is that i've been putting my trust in some wrong place
but i dont think i've regretted one bit.
i just need time to readjust myself.
I've got to STOP thinking about you. ):
Posted on: Monday, March 16, 2009
Posted at: 6:22 PM
Posted at: 6:22 PM
holidays are here again.
but it really doesnt feel like its a holiday.
things are going to get worse for me.
like yesterday?
i think i can declare it being alone day lah.
at least i've started on my homework.
plus point for me.
i dont know what to do now.
i need to talk to people.
seriously, like a lot of people.
but i just dont know where to start.
time to let go.):
just one last visit.
iris by goo goo dolls is way niceeeeee.
go listen.
but it really doesnt feel like its a holiday.
things are going to get worse for me.
like yesterday?
i think i can declare it being alone day lah.
at least i've started on my homework.
plus point for me.
i dont know what to do now.
i need to talk to people.
seriously, like a lot of people.
but i just dont know where to start.
time to let go.):
just one last visit.
iris by goo goo dolls is way niceeeeee.
go listen.
Tell me I did right.
Posted on: Saturday, March 14, 2009
Posted at: 10:08 PM
Posted at: 10:08 PM
dont ask me why i didnt update my blog.
super pissed this few days.
dont ask me why.
im just annoyed at some f-ed up people.
yes. im still annoyed now.
the last few days totally sucked.
dont ask me why.
thurs yah. ate went home.
and blanked out at home.
say well done to me. LOL
friday. another stupid day.
played hide and seek
and PRACTICED PROBABILITY.
i didnt fail the test. -.-
yeah. went out with yun zhen and edwin.
go yishun make contacts and watch movie.
and this is where the _____ part comes in.
the movie didnt really cheer me up.
race to witch mountain.
super no link with what the move is about.
yeah, and like a show about weird aliens is going to cheer me.
nice one.
almost fell asleep.
but i couldnt cos of the sound system.
sigh.
and so yun zhen went home.
me and edwin just became liu lang zhe
and walk the whole of northpoint.
and well done again.
cos i practiced probability.
RAH. twice leh. wtf lah.
yes, ah soon,
if i can find someone to publish my book,
i'll write a book. LOL
okay. there goes my day.
and now deep thoughts/reflections
LOL.
right. i started on my holiday assn.
say yay for me lah. LOL.
deep purple medley sounds cool to me currently. LOL
i wanna scold people alr.
seriously. its cos of inconsiderate people that cant curb their temper,
that spoil my mood for the rest of the week.
know why i play hide and seek?
its cos of inconsiderate ppl again.
wait. u ask why?
cos im being nice. so that you wont be so stressed.
oh well. no obligations for me to do it right?
its cos i care. okay, wtf.
wait. maybe its me.
like seriously. people think im dumb and im ignorant of all these things.
yeah, continue thinking that way if it makes u happy.
there's this stupid joke in the band room today.
walao eh. super lame.
rebecca. WHERE IS THE CAR?!
yeah, juniors go on and laugh.
very funny hor.
yeah and reynard. people eat to get energy and i go petrol station pump petrol.
nice one. HAH HAH HAH.
dont tell me you dont know im being sarcastic.
else, im going to bash u up.
seriously dumb.
i've got a lot of things i want to buy . ):
who want to sponsor me? hmm.
i shall end here for now. i'll be back later when im less pissed.
so are you bringing me back again?
f.
super pissed this few days.
dont ask me why.
im just annoyed at some f-ed up people.
yes. im still annoyed now.
the last few days totally sucked.
dont ask me why.
thurs yah. ate went home.
and blanked out at home.
say well done to me. LOL
friday. another stupid day.
played hide and seek
and PRACTICED PROBABILITY.
i didnt fail the test. -.-
yeah. went out with yun zhen and edwin.
go yishun make contacts and watch movie.
and this is where the _____ part comes in.
the movie didnt really cheer me up.
race to witch mountain.
super no link with what the move is about.
yeah, and like a show about weird aliens is going to cheer me.
nice one.
almost fell asleep.
but i couldnt cos of the sound system.
sigh.
and so yun zhen went home.
me and edwin just became liu lang zhe
and walk the whole of northpoint.
and well done again.
cos i practiced probability.
RAH. twice leh. wtf lah.
yes, ah soon,
if i can find someone to publish my book,
i'll write a book. LOL
okay. there goes my day.
and now deep thoughts/reflections
LOL.
right. i started on my holiday assn.
say yay for me lah. LOL.
deep purple medley sounds cool to me currently. LOL
i wanna scold people alr.
seriously. its cos of inconsiderate people that cant curb their temper,
that spoil my mood for the rest of the week.
know why i play hide and seek?
its cos of inconsiderate ppl again.
wait. u ask why?
cos im being nice. so that you wont be so stressed.
oh well. no obligations for me to do it right?
its cos i care. okay, wtf.
wait. maybe its me.
like seriously. people think im dumb and im ignorant of all these things.
yeah, continue thinking that way if it makes u happy.
there's this stupid joke in the band room today.
walao eh. super lame.
rebecca. WHERE IS THE CAR?!
yeah, juniors go on and laugh.
very funny hor.
yeah and reynard. people eat to get energy and i go petrol station pump petrol.
nice one. HAH HAH HAH.
dont tell me you dont know im being sarcastic.
else, im going to bash u up.
seriously dumb.
i've got a lot of things i want to buy . ):
who want to sponsor me? hmm.
i shall end here for now. i'll be back later when im less pissed.
so are you bringing me back again?
f.
Posted on: Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Posted at: 10:43 PM
Posted at: 10:43 PM
RAH. im going to be dead soon.
lucky tomorrow 1.10 release.
go makan with soon kueh.
lucky tomorrow 1.10 release.
go makan with soon kueh.
Can you miss someone more than you love them?
Posted on: Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Posted at: 9:41 PM
Posted at: 9:41 PM
hahah. section photo during sectionals today.
super cool man. last 5 minutes of sectionals.
super fun :D
hahah. had dinner with nic and jewel again.
like usual practice nowadays. LOL
had mac. damn funny.
think we're really sadistic people. hah.
today's practice was super fun.
i think my days are getting better and better.
hmm, i mean at least i enjoy some lessons now yah.
soon kueh is now burning hot.
hah. she's down with fever.
get well soon okay. i miss your stupid chattering in class.
ahahah.
as i was bored during recess, i went to read at the EL board.
not bad leh. saw this question over there
Is it possible to miss someone more than you love them?
hmm. there's a story involved though on tt article.
thought it was a very thought provoking one.
------
i'd say yes to it.
the story behind it was pretty depressing too.
ended with a whole new description of feelings.
things didnt turn out right, and probably ignorance was the best way out for the story.
wonder how it would continue though.
human feelings are super hard to comprehend.
i wonder if thats why we study SS for.
to infer the purpose of feelings and thoughts.
and to infer the purpose of thought provoking stuff.
LOL. yeah, so it actually helps in a big part of life.
oppressing one's feelings sure doesnt work.
we're all like cans of coke.
shaken up now and then due to emotions
one day, when we're too shaken up, we explode with an emotional break down.
there's no sure cure to anything.
but all you can do, is to surround yourself with positive people and feelings.
and tell yourself,
yeah, im feeling it.
creating love in a totally empty environment doesnt make the place more lively.
it makes the place feel like a dark and empty environment now.
because the feeling is remotely unknown and superficial.
now i understand why there's no feeling.
thats cos it has been numbed, shocked at the sudden impact.
see things in my light please? ):
& its an full circle.
tough times, even tougher measures
Posted on: Monday, March 9, 2009
Posted at: 10:39 PM
Posted at: 10:39 PM
yeah, tough times.
stressful period of the year.
plus truckloads of work and people tugging on your emotions.
and all i can think of is:
let me blast the music.
i think i should practice on poker face.
haha. new phrase that i learnt from ongminli today.
it means to show no sign of emotions or whatever.
i realise that emotions are often controlled by others, not by yourself.
many lose control of their emotions,
not because they want to.
but because they cant help it.
i wonder if there's a cure for horrid emotions
like being angry, upset, heartbroken, demoralised.
But then again, with these emotions gone,
where is the world going to be?
gotten over, but also not gotten over.
this shows how insecure and at the same time lost in my head.
lack of confidence in self and all.
forgotten, but also remembered.
lost, but also hope that it can be found again.
im just being an aimless soul all over again.
granted that im glad that i have a big bunch of people that i can talk easily with.
like
ahsoon, ongmeebong, brother Z and brother RJ, theodoros chan, nicholas liu, jewel loo.
hah. i swear this people really make my days at times.
and there's many more people lah.
i know people care. maybe i just dont really notice.
but to those i missed out, im touched okay.
but its just that emptiness needs to be filled up.
by something more.
something pure, sweet and innocent,
and with no intentions from people, carrying knifes all around
like tribal cavemen and throwing poisonous darts all around.
cos thats really like the last thing i want to experience now.
We used to have this under control.
When I say I’m sorry,
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story,
Say you won’t leave me.
When I say I’m sorry,
Can you forgive me?
When I say I will always be there,
Will you believe, will you believe in me?
Its not easy to forget.
To me, human nature is weird.
Psychology and science doesnt explain everything.
Laughter isnt the best medicine,
Numbing yourself with love is the best medicine.
second nature.
stressful period of the year.
plus truckloads of work and people tugging on your emotions.
and all i can think of is:
let me blast the music.
i think i should practice on poker face.
haha. new phrase that i learnt from ongminli today.
it means to show no sign of emotions or whatever.
i realise that emotions are often controlled by others, not by yourself.
many lose control of their emotions,
not because they want to.
but because they cant help it.
i wonder if there's a cure for horrid emotions
like being angry, upset, heartbroken, demoralised.
But then again, with these emotions gone,
where is the world going to be?
gotten over, but also not gotten over.
this shows how insecure and at the same time lost in my head.
lack of confidence in self and all.
forgotten, but also remembered.
lost, but also hope that it can be found again.
im just being an aimless soul all over again.
granted that im glad that i have a big bunch of people that i can talk easily with.
like
ahsoon, ongmeebong, brother Z and brother RJ, theodoros chan, nicholas liu, jewel loo.
hah. i swear this people really make my days at times.
and there's many more people lah.
i know people care. maybe i just dont really notice.
but to those i missed out, im touched okay.
but its just that emptiness needs to be filled up.
by something more.
something pure, sweet and innocent,
and with no intentions from people, carrying knifes all around
like tribal cavemen and throwing poisonous darts all around.
cos thats really like the last thing i want to experience now.
We used to have this under control.
When I say I’m sorry,
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story,
Say you won’t leave me.
When I say I’m sorry,
Can you forgive me?
When I say I will always be there,
Will you believe, will you believe in me?
Its not easy to forget.
To me, human nature is weird.
Psychology and science doesnt explain everything.
Laughter isnt the best medicine,
Numbing yourself with love is the best medicine.
second nature.
new perspectives
Posted on:
Posted at: 9:39 PM
Posted at: 9:39 PM
cool right?
ahaha.
took this at some sembawang place. LOL.
ITS A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE LAH!
i told someone that this is an ant's point of view.
not bad ah? LOL.
maybe its how you let go of things,
and depending on the situation,
things will be right?
hahah.
everything will be okay in the end.
if its not okay, its not the end.
hahah. more about my weird thinking later on.
hmm, overall i think lessons are quite fun now.
btw, i screwed my accounts analysis test.
cos i really really didnt study for it.
LOLS, i seem quite proud of it.
NO LAH! im actually kinda upset.
but anyway, whats done is done. ._.
hahah, i enjoy talking to my brother - zhexi now.
hah. and i think he enjoys hitting me ._.
and i seriously need to resume talking
to some weird junior a.k.a my brother RJ-ren jie
ahahh. really love my stand now. :D
YAY. and clarinetists, take section photo tmr.
hahah. remember ah. dun forget ah.
hah. i dun think i need to sleep tonight.
drank ice mocha just now.
hah, i think i should drink it every other day.
so i wont fall asleep in class or space out.
yah, i do space out sometimes.
but at least i dont sleep in class :D
i enjoy taking pictures with ah soon
when she is tying her hair.
know why?
she cant put her hand up and say stop it.
LOL. yeah i got a picture of that.
and honestly, it looks spastic.
so its gotten itself into the recycle bin.
fun right? LOL
The power of letting go
Posted on: Sunday, March 8, 2009
Posted at: 6:42 PM
Posted at: 6:42 PM
LOL. had a "fufiling" weekend.
considered that i didn't get tekan when i got home at 11.30 ytd.
hah.
Saturday band practice.
was super fun fun fun fun fun :D
hahah, i mean yeah.
considering that during our break we ran around the whole school
to avoid being sprayed by some Adidas deodorant.
LOLS. yah lah. kenna sprayed lah.
think the bandroom and the few of us smell super nice.
think nic was the one who kenna the most even his sax also kenna.
LOL. zhexi was hiding away.
and yay thanks to daryl he also kenna.
after that went to band exchange.
quite okay too.
JingYin, Shin Chieh, Allison and Nic came to meet me and Jewel after that.
went for dinner at compasspoint and thn went to cineleisure
with nic and jewel and met up with weiting, big nic and desmond
LOL. the last time i went to town was last year right after NCO
wearing NCO shirt and school shorts.
and it was super weird.
went with nic and ruijing to makan.
met up with seniors and walked around.
hah.
walk walk around and thn slacked at food republic.
basically it was just slacking around and wasting time lah.
LOL. bused home and reached home around 11.40
went to church today.
class was meaningful.
bascially just prayed.
but it was meaningful, yeah.
sometimes i think kids are growing up too fast.
No one seems to understand the fact that we are still kids
and we still want to have fun.
songs by westlife are the most classic after so long.
hmm, i wonder why.
even though with the release of so many other artists songs.
think i'm really getting very bored.
considered that i didn't get tekan when i got home at 11.30 ytd.
hah.
Saturday band practice.
was super fun fun fun fun fun :D
hahah, i mean yeah.
considering that during our break we ran around the whole school
to avoid being sprayed by some Adidas deodorant.
LOLS. yah lah. kenna sprayed lah.
think the bandroom and the few of us smell super nice.
think nic was the one who kenna the most even his sax also kenna.
LOL. zhexi was hiding away.
and yay thanks to daryl he also kenna.
after that went to band exchange.
quite okay too.
JingYin, Shin Chieh, Allison and Nic came to meet me and Jewel after that.
went for dinner at compasspoint and thn went to cineleisure
with nic and jewel and met up with weiting, big nic and desmond
LOL. the last time i went to town was last year right after NCO
wearing NCO shirt and school shorts.
and it was super weird.
went with nic and ruijing to makan.
met up with seniors and walked around.
hah.
walk walk around and thn slacked at food republic.
basically it was just slacking around and wasting time lah.
LOL. bused home and reached home around 11.40
went to church today.
class was meaningful.
bascially just prayed.
but it was meaningful, yeah.
sometimes i think kids are growing up too fast.
No one seems to understand the fact that we are still kids
and we still want to have fun.
songs by westlife are the most classic after so long.
hmm, i wonder why.
even though with the release of so many other artists songs.
think i'm really getting very bored.
Posted on: Friday, March 6, 2009
Posted at: 9:53 PM
Posted at: 9:53 PM
oh no.
im super pissed off now.
tts why im back to post so soon.
pfft. i just wasted one of nights to write a letter.
and its really wasted.
WASTED LAH!
nvm nvm. cool it. :/
let nature take its course. whatever that is.
@#!& take initiative also cannot,
dont take also cannot.
be persistent also cannot.
thn suit yourself alr lah. @#!&
im super pissed off now.
tts why im back to post so soon.
pfft. i just wasted one of nights to write a letter.
and its really wasted.
WASTED LAH!
nvm nvm. cool it. :/
let nature take its course. whatever that is.
@#!& take initiative also cannot,
dont take also cannot.
be persistent also cannot.
thn suit yourself alr lah. @#!&
Posted on:
Posted at: 8:50 PM
Posted at: 8:50 PM
oh no.
im like totally zonked out right now.
went to SCH on tues.
took taxi with nicholas liu.
$22.50 leh.
burnt off my wallet lah.
hah. shared cost, more like his wallet no more money. LOL
whole trip was fun, but crap lah. -.-
met up with zhexi and jewel there.
hahh. was super funny there.
i was super high and jewel was a little on the down side.
and zhexi turned into a squealing chicken. LOL
hahah. trained to yishun with zhexi.
left some people alone. ahahah.
me and zhexi did it not so purposely lah. dun angry. ahahh.
LOLS. here's the funny part.
went to yishun, thn go to yishun town, met sharifah
actually want to eat.
but thn AIYAH, decided no.
kinda regretted it. grr.
hah. in the end went home with a stupid gastric.
thn just zonked out at home again.
the tendency to zonk out is super high for me now.
which im not supposed to zonk at times like this.
but this being week 9, oh no.
just makes me feel lethargic. sigh.
anyway, at least its the end of week 9?
still havent taken section photo.
lunching with my dear clarinetists during march hols, fri.
the whole week was like _____________.
damn shitty to an extent,
think soon kueh has been encouraging me like siao everytime.
HAHAH. THANKS SOON KUEH!
she'll prolly pat me awake everytime.
parents just bought twilight and new moon.
wait till i got the time to read.
honestly, i've so much things tt i want tt i dunno where to start.
i feel super lost without my phone. damn.
hah. hope i get a new one super soon.
otherwise i'd die lah.
lucky i have my mp4
but thing is:
i couldnt find the song you and me by lifehouse in my mp4 *cries*
):
Becky suddenly has the urge to go movie-marathoning.
who wants to go with me? :D
actually im quite happy that zhexi and renjie and me
are quite happy together?
although im kind of mean to them at times.
but zhexi.
DONT ZONK OUT ON ME!
super not used to you acting this way.
what the. wasted effort again. :/
let's see what happens tmr and on the 11th.
im like totally zonked out right now.
went to SCH on tues.
took taxi with nicholas liu.
$22.50 leh.
burnt off my wallet lah.
hah. shared cost, more like his wallet no more money. LOL
whole trip was fun, but crap lah. -.-
met up with zhexi and jewel there.
hahh. was super funny there.
i was super high and jewel was a little on the down side.
and zhexi turned into a squealing chicken. LOL
hahah. trained to yishun with zhexi.
left some people alone. ahahah.
me and zhexi did it not so purposely lah. dun angry. ahahh.
LOLS. here's the funny part.
went to yishun, thn go to yishun town, met sharifah
actually want to eat.
but thn AIYAH, decided no.
kinda regretted it. grr.
hah. in the end went home with a stupid gastric.
thn just zonked out at home again.
the tendency to zonk out is super high for me now.
which im not supposed to zonk at times like this.
but this being week 9, oh no.
just makes me feel lethargic. sigh.
anyway, at least its the end of week 9?
still havent taken section photo.
lunching with my dear clarinetists during march hols, fri.
the whole week was like _____________.
damn shitty to an extent,
think soon kueh has been encouraging me like siao everytime.
HAHAH. THANKS SOON KUEH!
she'll prolly pat me awake everytime.
parents just bought twilight and new moon.
wait till i got the time to read.
honestly, i've so much things tt i want tt i dunno where to start.
i feel super lost without my phone. damn.
hah. hope i get a new one super soon.
otherwise i'd die lah.
lucky i have my mp4
but thing is:
i couldnt find the song you and me by lifehouse in my mp4 *cries*
):
Becky suddenly has the urge to go movie-marathoning.
who wants to go with me? :D
actually im quite happy that zhexi and renjie and me
are quite happy together?
although im kind of mean to them at times.
but zhexi.
DONT ZONK OUT ON ME!
super not used to you acting this way.
what the. wasted effort again. :/
let's see what happens tmr and on the 11th.
This is a game of concentration
Posted on: Monday, March 2, 2009
Posted at: 9:48 PM
Posted at: 9:48 PM
I MISS MY OLD PHONE. gah.
my contacts are still in it.
I'm getting the monday blues again.
hah. and there will be
tuesday orange
wednesday pink
thursday green
friday white
saturday black
and sunday gold.
alright alright i admit i have nth to do.
hahah. alright.
since i really have nothing to do,
i dig dag dug (ahahah!) through my memory card.
aha! 1st pic was at CCAB when i saw the rainbow.
haah. OMG. it was damn cool lah. LOLS
but well, its kinda trapped.
at least still can see it.
the next two photos were taken during total defence day
at the cenotaph
still feel the irony of the whole thing lah.
cos its meant to be a sad sad sad day.
(like how you were sad when the big ship went down, alright lame lah)
but anyway, we were smiling and fooling around like nobody's business!
hahah, but I'm so proud of my section :D
last pic.
LOLS. so bloody long ago.
last year, dunno when already
when we had this talk.
super fun also. ahahah. group photo leh! LOLS
hahah. tts all for the pics lah.
hahahah. I'm gonna take pics with my juniors tmr.
yes yes yes! ahahah.
section photo.
quite weird uh, considering the fact tt its a school day tmr. LOLS.
RACHEL, i dont have a decent photo with you.
so pls take one with me. LOLS.
think you're probably my life support now.
ahahah. we'll do some fun things together
and we've been talking abt it since last year.
yeah, someday, someway, somehow :D
hahah. fish loves you! (:
Let's see what's gonna happen tmr.
yippie. hahah.
damn you. nvm. im quite patient still.
until my memory fails me, yeah.
you'll still be there, in there.
cos all i can do is wait, -.-
WHAT the hell is wrong?!?!
Posted on: Sunday, March 1, 2009
Posted at: 5:49 PM
Posted at: 5:49 PM
ARGH. is either I'm having moodswings or what.
hmm, maybe its the envy that u are happy.
okay. i think i should calm down.
._.
there's one thing that I'm honestly, very very irritated about.
honesty
okay, maybe not just one
honesty, initiative.
damn. I'm still pissed.
I think I'm so pissed that I could cry.
Don't ask me why.
People close to me should know.
Wah, damn it.
think a lot of people was right.
now I just feel like banging my head against the wall
and ask why I'm so bloody dumb and stupid.
Can't believe the weird mentality of yours.
yah, you're stressed. FINE LAH. LOLS.
what you want me to do?
commit suicide for you meh.
didnt even say want to help you.
overall. I'm sorry.
I'm super super super disappointed.
Thought as long as I made an effort
it would be okay.
i was wrong.
I swear I'm gonna do better than you in all aspects.
you better change your bloody thinking after whatever stuff.
hah. go listen to fifteen by taylor swift.
so damn true. at least to me.
LOLS.
today is vent out my feelings part 1.
hmm, maybe its the envy that u are happy.
okay. i think i should calm down.
._.
there's one thing that I'm honestly, very very irritated about.
honesty
okay, maybe not just one
honesty, initiative.
damn. I'm still pissed.
I think I'm so pissed that I could cry.
Don't ask me why.
People close to me should know.
Wah, damn it.
think a lot of people was right.
now I just feel like banging my head against the wall
and ask why I'm so bloody dumb and stupid.
Can't believe the weird mentality of yours.
yah, you're stressed. FINE LAH. LOLS.
what you want me to do?
commit suicide for you meh.
didnt even say want to help you.
overall. I'm sorry.
I'm super super super disappointed.
Thought as long as I made an effort
it would be okay.
i was wrong.
I swear I'm gonna do better than you in all aspects.
you better change your bloody thinking after whatever stuff.
hah. go listen to fifteen by taylor swift.
so damn true. at least to me.
LOLS.
today is vent out my feelings part 1.
Fate played me out
Posted on:
Posted at: 12:23 AM
Posted at: 12:23 AM
Yeah, 1st post on my new blog.
why adjusted sails?
Saw it somewhere, couldnt remember already.
I can't change the direction of the wind, but i can change the direction of the sail.
Oh yeah, i rmb where already.
Not obliged to say anyway.
So yeah, i took the name adjusted sails.
Well, and prolly cos I'm a sec 4 already!
Time really files when you don't notice it.
I still remember when I was still a sec 1 and sitting beside Aik Hwee and all.
yeah, i really miss those times.
Hah. yes. Think fate really played me out.
But I'm happy in the sense that I have friends around me that really really care.
Indirectly or directly lah.
It still hurts like crazy but whatever lah.
Guess I was too trusting or being too stubborn.
Hah. Don't bother reading if you're not really interested.
Cos, there's more to come.
Nxt time or whatever lah.
Don't really feel happy thinking about it.
yes, i'll cut some slack.
Anyway, my phone died on me ._.
so I'm currently using some old phone.
until next year, unless people want to sponsor for my servicing
cos my warranty is up.
and the sad thing is. it has only expired for 12 days.
damn it right?
ARGH. walao.
okay, nevertheless, i didnt copy my contacts into my sim
so currently i dun have anyone's contacts.
(unless I can guess who you are, thanks to what you message me)
anyone who wants to contact me
please please please,
if possible, state who you are.
you have no idea, boy.
why adjusted sails?
Saw it somewhere, couldnt remember already.
I can't change the direction of the wind, but i can change the direction of the sail.
Oh yeah, i rmb where already.
Not obliged to say anyway.
So yeah, i took the name adjusted sails.
Well, and prolly cos I'm a sec 4 already!
Time really files when you don't notice it.
I still remember when I was still a sec 1 and sitting beside Aik Hwee and all.
yeah, i really miss those times.
Hah. yes. Think fate really played me out.
But I'm happy in the sense that I have friends around me that really really care.
Indirectly or directly lah.
It still hurts like crazy but whatever lah.
Guess I was too trusting or being too stubborn.
Hah. Don't bother reading if you're not really interested.
Cos, there's more to come.
Nxt time or whatever lah.
Don't really feel happy thinking about it.
yes, i'll cut some slack.
Anyway, my phone died on me ._.
so I'm currently using some old phone.
until next year, unless people want to sponsor for my servicing
cos my warranty is up.
and the sad thing is. it has only expired for 12 days.
damn it right?
ARGH. walao.
okay, nevertheless, i didnt copy my contacts into my sim
so currently i dun have anyone's contacts.
(unless I can guess who you are, thanks to what you message me)
anyone who wants to contact me
please please please,
if possible, state who you are.
you have no idea, boy.